The Super Bowl.

I’m not a fan of North American football at all.  Aside from an initial kickoff, I can’t understand why it’s even called football anyway, especially when the players seem to just run around holding the ball or throwing it to each other with their hands.  I have serious issues with the National Football League too.  The biggest is the fact they don’t pay any federal taxes in the United States because back in 1966, they were able to persuade some friendly Congressmen to have them designated a charitable organization.  Of course, football is pretty much a secular religion in the United States, and churches don’t pay taxes either!  I also have really big issues with professional sports players who make millions of dollars a year for playing a game that really should just be for fun, not a job.  Meanwhile, there are full-time workers who are still not earning enough to be able to afford a place to live, food to eat, and health care.

                I’ve only ever watched a Super Bowl game in its entirety once.  A few years ago, a friend decided to have a few guys over to watch it.  He and his wife were recently married.  We arrived at their house and she left for work.  Now they have two children and another on the way.  I don’t live near them anymore and the other guys who were at the party are married now.  I’m going to guess that there’s no Super Bowl party happening at any of their houses.  The invitation to the party was funny enough.  The subject line in the email said “Super Bowel Party.”  I figured this was a spelling mistake, at least I hoped it was.  However, one can never tell since the average Super Bowl party menu consists of spicy chicken wings, chili, and beer.

                 Once the game started, we increasingly found ourselves not paying much actual attention to what was happening in it.  There were instead a lot of jokes about what the players, coaching staff, and fans were possibly really thinking.  It does seem rather odd that in such a conservative sport like football, men spend a lot of time patting each other on the rear end.

                And then there’s the half-time show.  These have become memorable over the years.  I believe it was the Black Eyed Peas who performed during the game I watched.  I don’t particularly like their music anyway.  To me, a football half time show still has to be good old fashioned marching bands or a drum and bugle corps.  Those who remember Super Bowls of the 1970’s and early 1980’s will of course remember the recurring appearances of Up With People doing their massive song and dance performances.  Up With People are just way too happy and out of character for a tough guy sport like football.  I always got the impression that their fans were young Nixon supporters whose parents listened to Percy Faith and whose grandparents were groupies of Lawrence Welk.

                Even non-fans like me can find the cultural ritual of Super Bowl fandom amusing to observe.  It’s become a part of North American culture.  On Sunday afternoon, living rooms, basement rec rooms, bars, and even some churches will attract crowds of people wanting to watch the game.  There will be occasional waves of cheering or booing from the assembled.  Television viewers will be unsure if they should watch the always one of a kind commercials or rush to the bathroom and become participants in the collective flushing of toilets and resulting peak usage of sewer systems everywhere.